Friday, June 20, 2008

Panick attacks and goals

I am a spaz. Ask my husband, and he'll confirm it. Sometimes I don't know how he puts up with me, but I'm sure he thinks the same thing about me putting up with him. OK, maybe not.

Although I hate to admit it, doubt-filled thoughts are beginning to wiggle their way into my head. Are we gonna have enough people? Are we gonna have too many? What about food-too much or too little? Is it going to rain, and if so do we have enough space? If it doesn't rain and we're outside, are the citronella candles and torches going to be effective enough to rid us from the hordes of mosquitoes? (ps. I've killed 2 mosquitoes here in my kitchen while typing this!)

And then the unthinkable happened:

My keyboard died this morning, and I thought the world was going to end. I couldn't check the rsvp's on the evite site! Alright, not quite world-ending, but I was spazzing nonetheless. Thank you hubby for checking in the middle of the day for me. And thank you to my friend for the keyboard loan! The white one is our old one, and the black one is the one on loan. I am happy now, although questions are still running through my head faster than I can catch them and answer them.

We just did the shopping for Sunday, and I think this is the fullest our little pantry has ever been, even when we had scores of people over for Christmas. Tomorrow, I'll be baking and making potato salad, so it won't be quite as full-but the refrigerator will be!

I've decided that my goal for the fundraiser is to make more money than we spent. Pretty small goal, but I'm comfortable with it. If we don't make more than what we spent, then I feel like we could have just sent them the money that we spent on food and such. If we can make more than that, then it was worth everything.

Onto my secondary goal. This is what I wanted to write about yesterday, but the mood was a little too heavy for it, and this is something completely personal. I've been losing weight over the last 6 months or so- 33 pounds so far to be exact. I want to lose a total of 61. On the website I've been using to keep track of my calories consumed and burned, I'm a member of a group that weighs-in weekly and we participate in different weekly challenges.

The challenge for this week is to burn a certain number of calories through exercise-and to not include your daily activities or household type chores in your calories burned total. Each individual sets his or her own goal, and my goal is 2400 calories for the week, although really its only 6 days, so its 400 calories a day.

Well, that started Wednesday, and here we are on Friday. I'm sorry to say, I haven't worked in a single bit of extra exercise all week so far, and I still don't know that I'm gonna have time to. Maybe I can count swimming when I'm at the graduation party tomorrow, but the remainder of my time is going to be spent getting things ready for Sunday. I don't think burning 2400 calories all on Monday is going to work for me- although I do know at least one woman that could do it!

I think at this rate, I'm going to have to give up on this challenge, at least until life returns to semi-normalcy. It bums me out, but until its done, the fundraiser is my priority. The best I can do is give my body healthy foods, and know that even though I'm not completing the challenge, I'm still burning tons of calories I normally wouldn't, because I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off, thinking the world is going to end.

PSS. My apologies for the loooong post, and the uninteresting pictures. It's way past my pumpkin time, and I'm using toothpicks to keep my eyes open.

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